


Flow and Let Go

by xxMultiFandomLovaxx



Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, All relationships are platonic, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin struggles to move past Mortis, Gen, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Jedi & Their Emotions (Star Wars), Jedi talking about their feelings?, Post episode: s03e16 Altar of Mortis, Protective Anakin Skywalker, Temporary Character Death, all jedi need therapy, post mortis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28544397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxMultiFandomLovaxx/pseuds/xxMultiFandomLovaxx
Summary: He stood and watched it happen like he was a youngling that had never left the temple. He’s supposed to be one of the best generals in the galaxy and being caught off guard made him paralyzed with fear. When her head was tilted back and he saw her eyes start to roll back into her head his head was filled with his conscience screaming at him to do something, anything. Why didn’t he move? Why didn’t he force himself to act? Why did he just watch?---------------Anakin struggles to stop blaming himself for what happened to Ahsoka on Mortis and lets it carry over into their next mission.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Ahsoka Tano, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	Flow and Let Go

His heart stopped and he froze.

He saw the black-gloved fingers wrapped around her throat as she dug her claws into his slender wrist and all he did was watch. The Son said something but it was nothing but a muffled, underwater call when it hit his ears. The tone of his voice was wicked, haunting, bone-chilling, and brought Anakin back to when he was a slave on Tatooine. He felt the fear and pain he thought he left behind on the godforsaken desert planet, but it all came back to weigh on his chest like his lungs were trying to claw out of his rib cage. All he focused on was the fact that she could get hurt, tortured, killed. He knows she’s already experienced so much pain and she’s still a child. She’s his padawan, his best friend, his little sister. He’s supposed to keep her safe. He’s supposed to protect her. The only solace he gave himself whenever she would get hurt before this incident was she’d only been hurt when he wasn’t right by her side. He’d told himself that it would never happen around him, that other people didn’t know how to protect her, but he was wrong. He stood and watched it happen like he was a youngling that had never left the temple. He’s supposed to be one of the best generals in the galaxy and being caught off guard made him paralyzed with fear. When her head was tilted back and he saw her eyes start to roll back into her head his head was filled with his conscience screaming at him to do something, anything. Why didn’t he move? Why didn’t he force himself to act? Why did he just  _ watch _ ?

He watched in horror as the two of them dropped from the ship and his body finally caught up with his brain, but it was too late. They were already gone. He watched with a delayed outstretched arm as he screamed her name. When he saw The Son spread his wings and use his legs to grab her arms, he ran to the cockpit of the ship and hurriedly caught Obi-Wan up to speed before he took control of flying. He was thrown back to the pod race when he was 9 as he swerved around several stone pillars as his heart raced. His eyes were zeroed in on them and he could feel her fear as well through their bond. He felt Obi-Wan’s concerned eyes boring into the side of his head at his reckless flying, but he didn’t care. The only thing that mattered to him in this moment was getting her back. The Son in his beast form turned back one last time before he escaped Anakin’s sight. Anakin slowed down momentarily, in shock that he was able to escape so suddenly, but that moment didn’t last long.

He started the chase again and his eyes locked onto the tower with the giant green light on top of it. He found himself intrigued by it, knew that was likely where The Son had taken her, yet he kept flying straight for it. Obi-wan saw the crash coming during Anakin’s distracted state and took control to swerve out of the way, to steer Anakin away from his blinding vengeance for a moment. The sudden jerk of the ship made them lose control and once again forced them to crash into the surface. Anakin knew he had to get to her and fast and despite Obi-wan’s suggestion to go to The Father first, Anakin couldn’t care less. He couldn’t just let The Son torture Ahsoka while he was wasting time talking to the man who lured them here to keep him hostage here, to take a place he did not want. He had to let her know that even though it was his fault she was taken, he tried to get her back as soon as possible. When he got to the foot of the tower he immediately climbed his way up, took one stone at a time because there was no other way up and no way to force jump safely. The quickest way to get to her in that situation was to take his time, something he dreaded. 

He remembers how the short-lived relief flooded his senses when she was found sat on The Son’s balcony. She was safe because he had found her, hadn’t given The Son enough time to harm her. But then, after he voiced his thought, she had thrown him off guard once again.

“Are you...proud...of me, Master?” She had asked him, almost tauntingly.

He made his confusion present and urged again that they had to leave while they had the chance. His eyes furrowed as she made no effort to move, to come to the safety he had promised her. 

“He’s right, right about everything. You must join him,” her voice was firm, commanding and he felt the atmosphere start to change as her voice turned sickeningly sweet, almost seductive as she turned to face him and lull her head to the side, “He only wants what’s best for the universe.”

He felt the fear enter him again, slowly realized that he indeed had been too late but not wanting to accept that he failed to protect her again, “What’s wrong with you?”

It’s then he noticed how her once light blue eyes had turned into a sickly, tainted yellow as she rolled her eyes and sent shards of glass through her words, “Always with the criticism, Master, never really believing in me,  _ trusting _ me. Well, I don’t  _ need  _ you anymore.”

The desperation overtook him as he pleaded in his own way for her to listen to him, to snap out of whatever trance The Son had put her in. His heart felt like it was being strangled as he watched her move like a madwoman as she touched her face, flung her arms around herself with a smile he’d never seen from her and spoke with a tone of joy that will stick in his nightmares forever. Then she switched her tone back to menacingly serious, “He said, if you don’t join him he will kill me,” then  _ giggled _ as if it was a joke. He felt the fierce protectiveness come out again as he urged to reassure her that he wouldn’t let it happen, that The Son would have to kill him before he even came close to killing Ahsoka. “Then  _ you  _ will be forced to kill me!”

He watched in horror as she ignited her lightsaber and charged at him with no restraint and unfiltered rage. Despite all the training sessions they’ve done, he’d never seen her swing her lightsaber like that and switched into only blocking her attacks. He refused to even attempt to hurt her, just tried to tire her out. Their lightsabers clashed violently and harshly. Anakin had fought Dooku multiple times now, but he’d never been that afraid, unsure of any lightsaber duel in his life because if he hurt her, he would never forgive himself. The veins in her montrals, lekku, and face taunted him as her yellow eyes bored into his with hatred and anger he’d never seen from her. His emotions swirled around him, stuck in a tornado of fear, protectiveness, anger at The Son for doing this to her, and guilt. He let himself get slightly distracted in his emotions as he tried to plead with her, “I don’t want to fight you, Ahsoka!”

She took the moment to capitalize on his distracted state, just as he had taught her to which stung him worse than when his hand was cut off, and kicked him in the chin which sent him flying back and his lightsaber being thrown the opposite direction. Ahsoka flipped away from him sloppily, the pure instability of the dark side made her acrobatics look manic which frightened him even more that she could potentially hurt herself in this state. She rose to her feet with a sway in her stance as she reignited her lightsaber, “And now, the student will  _ kill  _ the master!” 

He raised his hand to force pull his lightsaber to him as she hesitated slightly too long to strike him again. The second the lightsaber hit his hand, he ignited it and blocked her attack once again. He shook himself out of his fear and realized he had to focus on helping her instead of blaming himself for this happening. His determination steeled as he rose back to his feet and grit his teeth, “Getting ahead of yourself, aren’t you, Snips?”

“Don’t call me that! I hate it when you call me that!”

He pushed down the feeling of hurt at that and put his all back into the fight. He blocked two more of her strikes before she let the third one last slightly too long and he swirled their locked lightsabers twice before he flicked hers up harshly and out of her grip. She growled at him and pushed off his chest to launch herself into the air to catch it. She landed on the ledge and instead of just igniting one lightsaber, she ignited both as Obi-wan joined Anakin’s side. “Two jedi, finally a challenge!” Then she sprung right back into action; twisting, flipping and twirling as she tried to attack both of them at once.

Anakin didn’t need to tell Obi-wan not to try and strike her down, he didn’t want to hurt her either despite the evil that corrupted her at the time. Anakin and Obi-wan had switched from fighting her together to fighting her one at a time, giving the other brief periods of rest and her none so they could hopefully tire her out, but it pained Anakin to have to see her in this state. Anakin switched spots with Obi-wan again, and swung his lightsaber to attack for the first time since this battle started. He force pushed her away as she dug her lightsabers into the ground to limit the distance he could put between them. “Any suggestions?”

Then Obi-wan revealed a hilt where a blade just materialized from nothing, “Yes! We cut her free!”

Anakin remembers how his eyes widened as he stared at what just happened in disbelief, “What is that?”

“It can kill The Son,” was the only explanation he gave him. 

Anakin wanted to ask more when he heard Ahsoka roar in a combination of her voice twisted with The Son’s, which proved to him just how deeply The Son had possessed her, “Where did you get that?” Anakin looked back to his master to see a slight smile on his face, yet he worried if they used the blade on her if she’d be hurt. “Give it to me!” She screamed before she charged forward again as he tried to back away from her. 

The fight continued and Anakin remembered how heavy the physical and emotional exhaustion weighed on him, made him want to join The Son if it meant Ahsoka and Obi-wan would be safe and away from all of this. Then they heard the glass breaking and saw The Daughter and The Son fly through the air as the three of them ducked for cover from the glass. They watched as The Father flew down gracefully in front of them all as him and The Son started their own battle. Once again, Anakin just watched what was happening, he didn’t act to restrain Ahsoka, he didn’t take the dagger and stab The Son, he just stood back and let things unfold. Then when Obi-wan yelled at him, he was prepared to kill The Son, end this before anyone else got hurt, but Ahsoka grabbed the dagger as it was being tossed to him and ran next to The Son. 

“Now, give it to me, Child,” The Son ordered, but Anakin didn’t miss the smirk on Ahsoka’s face as she looked back at him, waited for him to tell her not to, before she handed it over and the involuntary betrayal made him panic and the guilt take over him again. “Thank you. Your usefulness has come to an end.”

Then Anakin remembers it in slow-motion every single time this event plagues his mind. With just a tap of two of The Son’s fingertips to Ahsoka’s head she collapsed and her lightsaber fell limply from her hand as her fingers uncurled. Anakin screamed as he felt her life force disappear from his senses, ran forwards before he was force pushed away by The Son. He ignored the rest, couldn’t take his eyes off of Ahsoka’s unmoving body as his head screamed that it was all his fault, that if he stopped watching and started acting that none of this would have happened, that Ahsoka wouldn’t be dying in front of his eyes. The Daughter and Son’s screams were nothing but echoes in his head until he heard The Son’s beast growl as it flew away. He ran to her body, held onto the belief that she was just unconscious and the force sensitivity of the planet affected what he was feeling. When he turned her onto her back and saw the white’s of her eyes all he could feel was pain. He wished the council had never sent them on this mission, that they never sent a child into war, that he had simply acted when he could. He was always told that his quick responses led him to be reckless and endanger more people, yet when he took too long to think, he lost one of the most important people in his life and it was all his fault. 

Anakin remembers the shaky breath he took, the way his voice trembled, the way he felt like a helpless child when he addressed The Father, “Can you help her?”

The Father looked up with nothing but remorse, “There is no light. The evil has been unleashed and the dark side shall consume her.”

Anakin shook his head, refused to believe that she would die as he didn’t even try to stop it from happening. “You must help her!” He screamed desperately. He felt the tears threatening to break through, make him completely lose it. When The Father told him there was no hope, Anakin nearly saw red. All his life he was trained to believe that all it took was one person’s hope to make something real, that hope was one of the most powerful things in the galaxy. “Yes there is! There’s always hope!”

Then he watched as The Daughter pointed to Ahsoka as the light from her legs already dimmed to black. He saw The Father nod slightly to his daughter before he rose to his feet and gestured for Anakin to kneel before him. He raised his arms as he let The Father control his actions and lowered one hand to the Daughter’s head and the other to Ahsoka’s. His vision turned white as the pure lightside of the force flowed through him and made him feel as if he was floating. His senses were filled with light, happiness, hope, joy. It felt like all of the trauma from the past never existed, like he could be the hero everyone wanted him to be. But then it all became too much to handle, like the light side of the force was going to rip out of his chest and make him explode like the grenades they throw.

He removed his hands from their heads as he shook his head. He turned and saw the veins on Ahsoka’s head vanish, her skin turned back to its bright red tone; but she still hadn’t moved. He lowered his head in fear that it wasn’t enough, that he was too late  _ again  _ today. But then she coughed and began to sit up and Anakin felt relief crash against him like waves on the shore as he crawled forward to hug her. He pulled back to see her blue eyes back, ready to burst into tears just at the sight of them.

She looked dazed between Anakin and Obi-wan as if she had just woken up from a nap when she tiredly asked, “What’s going on?” 

Anakin and Obi-wan shared a glance at one another, both agreeing without having to say a word that they would never tell her about this. Anakin chuckles and looks up at the sky, “Uh, not much.”

Even though she was safe, breathing, alive Anakin still had the tight grip on his heart underneath the sense of relief. He’d almost lost her because of his own inability to respond to the situation. Her blood would have been on his hands and he was unsure if they would have ever been clean again.

  
  


“The Separatists are rumored to have troops stationed in the north, east, and west sides of the city. If we can block off the south and somehow force them all into the center to surround them we could defeat them with ease and liberate the capital.” Rex explained as he, Anakin, Ahsoka, Obi-wan and Cody stood around the holomap on the bridge of the Resolute. “Unfortunately we’d have to land our gunships a few clicks out so the separatists don’t get suspicious then make the rest of the travel on foot. We’d engage at the same time, force them back to the center then destroy them all with nowhere to go.”

Obi-wan nods his head before he leans forward on the holotable, “Good plan, the main question would be how do we block off the south of the city? We have no contact with the city so we can’t ask them for intel on what we could use.”

Cody steps up, “We have intel already that says there’s a mountain range on the south side of the city, those clankers won’t be able to climb up there before we’re finished scrapping them. For security though we could drop off some clones on the south side first as a distraction as we all push in from the other sides. Or we could have them engage shortly before we do, catch the other sides of the city off guard and then move in.”

Obi-wan crosses his arms as he looks towards Anakin to see if he agrees with the plan. Anakin nods his head, “Obi-wan you can take the North side, Ahsoka and I will take the West, Cody can lead a squadron on the East side and Rex and some of the 501st can guard the South.”

Ahsoka raises an eyebrow marking at his suggestion and crosses her arms before she turns towards Anakin in confusion, “Master, with all due respect it might be best if you and me split up and let Rex and Cody lead a squadron together to guard the South. No offense to the clones but we’ll need a jedi on each side to push the droids back like we plan to.”

Anakin shakes his head in frustration, “No way. You’re with me. We’re going to put more clones on the West to help them out since there will be two of us together. It’ll all work out, Snips.”

Obi-wan senses the tension between the two as Anakin stares down at her and he feels the protectiveness rolling off Anakin in waves. It’s their first assignment back since Mortis and Obi-wan noticed Anakin had barely let Ahsoka out of his sight since their council report. He clears his throat, “I agree with Ahsoka. If we want this to go as smoothly as possible and limit our losses, we should all split up. Besides, it shouldn’t take too long for us to-”

“I said no, Master. Ahsoka isn’t going to lead a squad of clones, unless she is with me. I’m not discussing this anymore.” Anakin cut off as he felt the protectiveness take over him.

“Come now, Anakin.You and I both know that Ahsoka is more than capable to lead a batch of clones into battle. It would be most beneficial actually.” Obi-wan countered.

Anakin turned to face his former master with a steely expression as he felt anger start to cloud everything around him aside from anything in his direct view, “Ahsoka is  _ my  _ padawan. I decide what she does, where she’s stationed, and how she contributes. I decided she’s with me and that’s that. You can talk about whatever problem you have with it after the mission.”

“Master, I’ve led a squadron of clones on tons of missions before this. I’m more than prepared to make this happen. You’ve never had a problem with this before. I don’t understand why you’re going backwards with my training.” Ahsoka said with eyes of steel that were drilling holes into his head.

Anakin groans before he lowers his voice in warning, “Ahsoka, I said you’re with me and that’s it. It’s either that or you’re staying on the ship. Take your pick!”

Ahsoka rolls her eyes before she backs down and looks around to see if she’s the only one that feels he’s being ridiculous. Obi-wan is studying Anakin with a disappointed look on his face, yet didn’t try to back Ahsoka up again. Rex and Cody knew better than to get involved when the jedi were having a disagreement, but Rex did send her a sad smile in return. Ahsoka tuned out the rest of the briefing as she let her annoyance flow through her at his sudden lack of trust in her. She’s run a mission like this dozens of times before yet now he doesn’t trust her to do it properly. It brought her back to their first mission on Christophosis together where he had a valid reason not to trust her. She’d saved his life multiple times as well so this regression made no sense to her. She let the self-doubt swirl around her, because who is she to believe in herself, if her own master doesn’t. Darkness swirls around her lungs with a white-knuckled grip and the air in her lungs feels partially blocked, as if her throat were a wine bottle with a cork in it. She’s trying her best to ground herself with the force, but she can’t get the angry tone of his voice out of her head. She wraps her arms around herself and tries to focus on the briefing, but the swirling emotions inside of her force her to lose focus every five seconds. It’s moments like this that remind her how young she is, that despite how much she’s proven herself to handle whatever mission comes her way not only to herself but to others, there are still moments where she needs reassurance. Her eyes lock with Rex’s and she straightens her back and puffs her chest out, trying to put on the facade that she’s ok. The second the briefing started to wrap up, Ahsoka walked away from the holotable in the direction of her quarters with a spiralling mixture of frustration and doubt. 

Anakin’s eyes followed Ahsoka’s retreating form as he tried to ground himself again. He knew he shouldn’t have snapped at her and Obi-wan like that, but they just didn’t understand. Had Obi-wan completely forgotten what had happened on Mortis? Did he forget that if she wasn’t revived the Council would have blamed him for it? Did he not realize that he’d never forgive himself if he wasn’t able to revive her? Did they not understand how much he cared about them both?

Anakin shakes his head to rid himself of these thoughts for the time being. He knew he was being overprotective, but he needed to make sure she wasn’t being reckless under his watch before he allowed her to command again. He needed to make sure that she wouldn’t come anywhere close to what happened on Mortis ever again. The rational part of him is lecturing him.  _ She’s a child at war! Of course there are going to be times when her life is at risk. You can’t protect her from everything.  _

As Anakin was about to head to his own quarters to mentally prepare himself for the battle, he felt an all too familiar hand on his shoulder before he turned around to meet Obi-wan’s face. “Let us have a word in private.”

Anakin nodded his head once before Obi-wan started to guide them to his own quarters. The entire trek there Anakin starts to take notice of Ahsoka’s force signature; she’s frustrated, annoyed, confused, and hurt that he talked to her like that for the first time in years. She’s trying to calm herself, but Anakin knows better than anyone that when her abilities are questioned or untrusted she goes out of her way to try and prove herself; which inevitably makes her reckless and results in her getting hurt. It was something he’d have to talk to her about at a later time.

Obi-wan’s door opened and he finally took his hand off Anakin’s shoulder after he gestured to the chair resting in front of his desk. Anakin slumped into it with a sigh before raising his gloved, metal hand to his forehead and pinching gently; trying to release the tension in his head one way or another. Obi-wan sits across from him with a knowing look on his face, “Anakin, I think we both know what’s going on here.”

Anakin scoffs, “Oh yeah? Want to enlighten me?”

Obi-wan rolls his eyes, “This is not the time for games. I know you’ve been on edge concerning Ahsoka ever since we’ve returned, but you cannot hold her back from her training because you’re letting your fear get the upper hand.”

“I’m not holding her back from her training, Obi-wan. I’ve just realized I may need to reevaluate her skills before letting her lead a batch of clones again. We did just have a leave and it’s hard to spring someone right back into it.”

Obi-wan chuckled, “I might have believed you if I didn’t know you so well, Anakin. You forget that I’ve known you since you were nine. I understand that you care for her, but as Jedi we cannot let our attachments get in the way of missions and protecting the people of the Republic.”

Anakin feels the anger in him rise again like a dark cloud over his head, yet smaller than the one that surrounded him before, “How would you be acting if something like that happened to me when I was still your padawan? You expect me to believe that you would be acting like nothing happened, that everything would be back to normal by the next mission? We both saw what happened despite how much you’re trying to ignore it. If she gets killed, it’s on me. It’s my job to keep her safe and no one else’s.”

“Are you forgetting about the hundreds of clones on board this cruiser? No offense but you are not the only one solely responsible for her. Ahsoka is responsible for herself and the clones are trained to kill battle droids and protect the Jedi. Mortis is an incredibly force-sensitive planet and had some of the most powerful force beings in the galaxy. Ahsoka, even consumed by the dark side, held her own against the both of us. We were holding back slightly, but you are acting like Mortis was the typical battle we see on a daily basis. You and I can agree that is not the case. We are about to enter another battle against mindless battle droids where Ahsoka, surely can hold her own and has before. This protectiveness in you, while understandable is affecting the entire mission negatively. To answer your question, I’m not expecting you to go back to normal instantly. It was upsetting to both of us, but you have to maintain your faith in Ahsoka. You know how much a Master’s approval means to a padawan. Do not forget you were one not too long ago.” 

Anakin sighed and bent forward so his elbows rested on his knees. He knew Obi-wan was right. Ahsoka could take down battle droids in her sleep, but he still can’t fully chase away his need to protect her. Thoughts swirl around in his head about how she’s just a child, she never should have been thrust into these types of dangerous situations. She should still be finishing her studies at the temple. That thought, however, makes him stop in his tracks. She shouldn’t be back at the temple finishing her studies. She is much too powerful to be sitting at the temple all day learning about meditation and lightsaber forms from training droids and older Masters. She belonged on the battlefield, by his side as she gained real knowledge, real training for battle; because despite the council claiming they are “peacekeepers” they are soldiers in this war. He finally met Obi-wan’s eyes with a glint of something neither of them could place as he accepted his wrongs. “So how do you suggest I let go of this protectiveness? I don’t want to hinder her or this mission.”

Obi-wan’s eyes widen in shock at the knowledge that Anakin isn’t going to continue to fight him on this. In other circumstances Anakin would have laughed at the expression on his face. Obi-wan quickly recovered by clearing his throat, “Well for starters, talk to her. She’s already confused as to why you’ve suddenly started doubting her abilities. A vague explanation won’t suffice, I’m afraid. You might have to tell her about what happened with her and The Son.”

Which...what? Anakin was definitely not prepared to have that conversation with Ahsoka right now, or ever for that matter. “No. I can’t do that. I can’t let her know that I failed her and just stood there and watched her die.”

“But you didn’t-”

“That’s what it feels like, Obi-wan! It feels like I didn’t do enough to prevent that from happening, that I just let The Son corrupt her and let the dark side consume her! She could have died had it not been for The Daughter and it was my fault! None of it would have happened if I acted the second I saw him holding her!”

Obi-wan immediately understood. This wasn’t so much about protecting Ahsoka, but more about Anakin proving to himself that he is capable of protecting her. Obi-wan moved to squat down in front of Anakin so they were at eye-level, “You did everything you could, Anakin. You never gave up on finding her or trying to save her. Like I said before, they were some of the most powerful force beings in the galaxy. None of us knew what they were capable of and they caught us off guard many times. You didn’t fail her, Anakin. Yes it was the Daughter’s idea to transfer the light left in her to Ahsoka, but you were the necessary vessel to make it happen. You can’t focus on the little failures when there were bigger successes. It will make a lot more sense to Ahsoka if you’re up front with her and not hiding things from her. She’ll understand and won’t blame you for anything that happened.”

Anakin felt the reassurance from Obi-wan and instead of fighting it, welcomed it with an open mind. While he wasn’t going to enjoy reliving that moment he knew that it had to be talked about with her. Who knows, maybe the nightmares he’s been having ever since it happened will stop too once he talks to her. With a humorless laugh, Anakin raised his eyebrows, “You know I don’t like it when you’re right.”

Obi-wan smirked before he stood back to full height, “Well then you must not like me all the time then.”

Anakin rolled his eyes with a small smile before he playfully hit Obi-wan’s arm and rose to his feet to search for Ahsoka. He finds her in her quarters using a training droid to practice her deflection skills. She’s still a little rusty with her duel wielding and while he’s glad to see her trying to refine it, he can’t help but see how tensely she’s moving her sabers. “Relax your shoulders, Snips. It’ll make your motions smoother.” She huffs as a response, but if anything her shoulders get even more tense and the annoyance on her face becomes more prominent. He watches as a pseudo blaster bolt grazes her arm and she grunts out her disappointment. Anakin moves to stand in her peripheral vision as he critiques her again, “I sense a lot of frustration from you.”

She scoffs as she turns off the training droid and lightsabers before she turns to face him, “You needed to sense it?”

Anakin sighs as he sits down on the bench attached to the wall, “Ahsoka, let me explain why-”

“There’s nothing to explain, Master. I’m just a youngling that was thrown into a war too soon, that couldn’t possibly keep up with you, or General Kenobi’s abilities. Despite the fact that I’ve not only saved your life, but countless others I’m simply not able to command in this mission. So you have to minimize your casualties by keeping me tethered to your side so I don’t lead our, sorry  _ your _ men into a death trap. I completely understand, it’s not like I’m a commander or anything. Oh wait! I am!” She throws her sabers on her makeshift mattress before she moves to stand in front of him with her arms crossed and her mouth in a half-frown. Her snippy tone comes out as strong as ever as her eyes dig into his forehead.

Anakin rises to his feet with his hands up in surrender as he impressively represses his eye roll, “Come on, Ahsoka. I never said that and you and I both know that’s not true. That’s not fair.”

Ahsoka huffs out her disbelief, “Oh  _ I’m  _ not being fair? You’re the one who acted like a total jerk back there in front of everyone for no reason!”

“If you would just let me explain-”

“I know you’ve always been protective of me, but this is getting to be too much, Master! I appreciate you looking out for me, but you can’t let your fear of me getting hurt get in the way of me progressing as a jedi. We’re meant to be putting our lives on the line every battle for the greater good and you don’t get to dictate how and when I-”

“You nearly died on Mortis, Ahsoka!” He cut her off as he towered over her, yet looked like a wounded child.

Ahsoka’s eyes widened as her light blue eyes looked up at him quizzically, her arms dropped to her sides and the look of anger transformed into a look of shock in a blink of an eye, “What? What are you talking about, Master?”

The air around them is slightly colder as Anakin let’s himself revisit the event that has plagued him nearly every night since, “You may want to sit down for this, Snips.”

Ahsoka nods her head slowly and lets Anakin guide her with a hand on her back as she walks towards the bench and sits down with a deep breath. Anakin stays standing, waits until Ahsoka pats the spot next to her as she takes in his pained expression. He sits beside her and keeps his eyes glued to his boots, not ready to meet her gaze yet. She puts a hand on his shoulder, “Hey, I’m here right now. I know it won’t be an easy story to tell, but just remember it wasn’t permanent.”

He takes a deep breath before he meets her eyes, “The Son had possessed you somehow after he took you, injected you with the dark side and made you his slave. He tried to use your life to get me to join him, had you tell me that if I didn’t join him he’d kill you. When I refused, he made you attack and tried to get me and Obi-wan to kill you out of self-defense. We didn’t but Obi-wan had gotten the blade that The Father used to kill himself to try and kill The Son. The Son, Father, and Daughter all showed up and when The Son looked like he was going to kill The Father, Obi-wan tried to throw me the blade to kill him. You got it and handed it over to The Son. Afterwards he just tapped your forehead and-and you collapsed and I felt you  _ leave _ , Ahsoka. I felt you die as I just watched. The Daughter got in the way when The Son tried to kill The Father and she got stabbed. He flew away after and that’s when we saw the dark side had consumed you, but then The Daughter as she was dying wanted to put whatever light was in her into you.”

Ahsoka’s hand dropped from his shoulder into her lap in awe as she shook her head in disbelief, “How is that possible? How could something like that even be achieved? I know they’re force creatures, but as far as we know there’s no way we can breathe life into the dying.”

“Well, I was kind of getting to that until you interrupted me,” Anakin said with a half smile on his face. Ahsoka rolls her eyes with a smirk on her face before she gestures for him to continue, “They needed a vessel to transport the light from her into you. I had to be the vessel. Just like The Son had taken the light from you, I was able to take the light from her and put it into you. Shortly after that, you woke up and well you know the rest.”

Ahsoka looks down at the bench and lets out a humorless laugh, “And you and Master Kenobi had the nerve to tell me not much had happened.”

He cringes slightly at their lie, but he knew it was the right decision to keep it from her until they were far away from the planet. He meets her eyes again with a slight frown, “That’s why I was so insistent of you being with me earlier. I know it’s not fair to you that I let my failures get in the way of your progress momentarily. It’s something I need to get better at and I’m working to-”

“Wait, stop, hold on. Failures? What failures are you talking about?” Ahsoka says with her eyes narrowed in confusion and her lips slightly pursed.

“I never should have let The Son even take you. If I had reacted quicker than none of that would have happened to you and you wouldn’t have almost died and-”

“Skyguy, while that may be true, are you forgetting that you quite literally saved my life? The Son meant to catch you off guard, not only was he one of the most powerful creatures we’ve ever seen, but his whole purpose was to play with your fears. You still overcame them and were somehow able to literally put light into me! That’s unheard of! That’s so cool! You have to teach me how to do that! The healers will never believe it! It’ll really come in handy with all the times we crash.” Ahsoka’s face was now filled with her normal spunk, as she bounced in her seat with the new information. 

Anakin had to put his hands on her shoulders to calm her as he laughed gently at her, “Woah there, calm down. I don’t even understand how I did it either, honestly. How did this turn in to you comforting me? You were the one who technically died.”

She waves him off, “Yeah, but I’m fine and here now, thanks to you Master. You’re so quick to ignore your success and focus on the failures. While there may be more failures than success it’s still possible for the success to outweigh the latter. You have to remember that, Skyguy.”

He lets the words sink in and feels himself really smile for the first time since Mortis. While she’s still young, she’s not his naive padawan anymore. While he teaches her, he realizes she’s teaching him as well about how to care for the people you love and how to believe in yourself. “When did you start teaching me things?”

Ahsoka shrugs, “I think we’ve both learned a lot from each other, Master. We just haven’t realized how much yet.”

They laugh together briefly before Ahsoka rests her head on Anakin's shoulder and wraps her arms around him gently. Anakin enjoys the calmness that comes with this moment and lets the comfort wash out all the worry like a waterfall. He returns the affection briefly and Ahsoka’s shoulders slump in response before they hear Admiral Yularen announce they are about to drop out of hyperspace over the Resolute’s comms. 

They stand up and start to head for the door before Anakin blocks it, “You know, you technically have a life debt to me.”

Ahsoka chuckles, “Oh really? I see it more as me owning my life to The Daughter, actually.”

He practically squawks as Ahsoka opens the door and starts to walk towards the bridge with him hot on her heels, “What? If it weren’t for me, there’d be no way for the light to even get transferred into you!”

“Without her, there’d be nothing for you to transfer, Master.”

Obi-wan joined them as they continued to bicker about who deserved more credit for saving her life and while he tried to lecture them how they shouldn’t be bickering about something as serious as this, he couldn’t wipe the smile off his face. His former padawan and grandpadawan were always going to be a chaotic handful, but he wouldn’t want it any other way.


End file.
